The Mexican Restaurant

To celebrate Jordan's birthday on year, we decided to eat a Mexican restaurant in Nashville where we were living at the time (no big surprise). We were finishing up our meal when Jeff decided to tell the waiter that is was Jordan's birthday.

All of a sudden all the waiters appeared with a sombrero for Jordan singing "Happy Birthday". To celebrate Jordan's birthday he had chosen a favorite local Mexican restaurant on the east side of Nashville. Secretly Jeff had informed our waiter than it was his birthday.

The waiter came bearing fried ice-cream. He set it down in front of Jordan and said something to him. Jordan nodded to him and the waiter picked up the spoon with some ice-cream on it as they finished the song. Jordan thought he was going to put the ice-cream in his mouth, but to his great surprise he quickly turned it over and put the spoonful on his nose - a real Kodak moment. You should have seen the look on Jordan's face. We laughed until we had tears rolling down our face.

We are on the letter "E" of heart this week and it stands for the importance of eating together. Recent research has pointed to the importance of this simple activity in terms of the bonding among family members. It is interesting that families today have to be very deliberate to make this happen - something that would have been a given a couple generations ago as many grew up on farms and of course, you ate each meal together.

It's not always easy today between long hours at work, school and after-school activities, but there is something so common, and yet so special, about sitting around the table and sharing a meal together. Although both our sons are in college and 800 miles away, one of the first things that we plan on visits back to Omaha is a time to eat together. There is conversation, catching up, remembrances and all these things help renew and strengthen the bond between us to this day.

The funny thing about those stories is that I called Josiah up on the phone last night and this is the humorous story he remembered about eating together. This probably happened at least 10 years ago. We still laughed about it for a long time as if it just happened a week ago!

Do you have a story that you would like to share about your family eating together. I sure would like to hear it!

GIVE ME AN H

We just finished our last session of the Bible Study called "Parenting is Heart Work" by Dr. Scott Turnsky and Joanne Miller. The book is all giving parents direction to help them shape their children's hearts. The authors took the word HEART to make an acrostic so I wanted to share their words of wisdom each week with you.



They began this last session by talking about having a relationship with your kids so that their hearts will stay open to you even during those hard years of being a teenager and continue on to adulthood. To have a relationship with your child(ren) takes work and doesn't happen overnight. It is doing some of the things they discussed in their DVD over and over with your children.



For example the first letter is "H" for having fun. So I wanted to share my experiences with you.



When I was growing up as a child, one of the things we did in my home was playing games together, especially "cards". The card game we played the most was Euchre. I remembered having so much fun playing different games so I wanted to pass this on to my own children.



When our family moved to Arkansas where Jeff started his ministry, I became a stay at home mom for the first time. Most evenings, Jeff had meetings in the evenings so our boys and I played board games. It gave us a time to talk and laugh. If people stopped over while we were playing, we invited our guests to play as well. On Saturdays, I remember all of us including Jeff would sit and play one of the many "Memory" games.



As our sons got older, we taught them how to play Euchre. They loved to be partners against Jeff and myself and had fun beating us.



Since we lived far away from our extended family, we would come back for a week or so and visit my parents and we would always see my grandmothers. One of the things my grandmother did was make dinner for us and as soon as we were done, she would say, "how about a game of cards"? The boys couldn't wait because they loved to play cards and they were able to get to know my grandmother a little more.



It was kind of funny that while we were still in Omaha and the boys were in high school. They said, "Why is it that we don't play games anymore like we used to". It made me think of how much they enjoyed sitting and playing. Now when we see our boys it seems like we are always pulling out a deck of cards or playing a game of Yahtzee.



Last Christmas, we took the boys who are 20 and 22 to see my grandmother who is 101. On the way, the boys wondered if grandma would want to play cards. We didn't have to wonder too long because as soon as we finished our lunch, she wanted to know who wanted to play cards? The boys enthusiastically replied, "We do"! What great memories we'll have of sitting around together as a family having fun together.



Assignment: Please feel free to share your story of how your family has fun together.

The Parade (or Lessons in Parenting 101)

It's amazing to watch parents at work because sometimes as parents we do and say some of the silliest things. If we would ever record what we have said or done, I think we would be surprised at our actions and what comes out of our mouths. Let me share a story of what I observed over a couple of years ...

A couple of years ago Jeff and I attended the grandiose Millard Days parade for a couple of years in a row (not quite Mardi Gras in New Orleans, but a close second :) . Now at this particular parade, it was important to arrive early if you wanted a curbside seat to watch the people in the parade. We wanted to see our boys in the marching band. I'm sure they were excited to see their parents jumping up and down and waving at them as they played their instruments (we really didn't do that ... much!). The first year, I brought a book to keep me entertained as I waited for the parade to begin, but I soon discovered I really didn't need a book to keep me busy!

There was another family near us who we saw each year - a grandma, a grandpa, a mom and two children who were at first around ages 3 and 5. They all got settled in on their blankets and cute little chairs, but had at least 45 minutes before the parade would start. As I watched, the two children had nothing to do - mom hadn't brought them anything and seemed genuinely surprised when the two children began to wrestle around. She tried the normal, "stop pushing your sister" - "stop hitting your brother." But then she brought out the big guns: "If you don't stop right now, we are leaving", she said. The children looked at her and stopped for a few minutes and then began picking on each other again. "I really mean it, if you don't stop, we are leaving". The children looked at her knowing just as I did - that she really had no intention of leaving, but as parents (me too) we often use that as a scare tactic. So they started in again and mom continued to offer no alternatives for the children. I can't even fully remember how many times she threatened to leave.

Finally she came up with a better idea. Let's walk over to the store and get some candy and snacks. So that's exactly what they did - (you know put something in their mouths that might help). They brought their bags and sat down for a short while and then they started whining again, "I'm bored"!, etc. This time, there were vendors coming down the street selling toys and balloons. Grandpa decided this would be the time he would intervene and buy them a toy and a balloon. We all can guess what happened to each of their balloons before they even got back to their seats, but they still had their toys. Then...the parade began!

I was glad I had brought my book just in case, but I didn't really need it...it was entertaining enough just to watch the family in front of me. I wanted to step in and say let's play a game, let's do something together... , but didn't.

The very next year, we were back in the same spot, and guess who our neighbors were? They were all there once again and the children were another year older, but unfortunately, they were not another wiser. The same scenario unfolded with the pushing, hitting, candy, toys and balloons sailing away into the Omaha sky. It was like acting out the Bill Murray movie, Ground Hog Day, but without Bill Murray to entertain us.

Have you ever watched parents do the silliest things - I know I have done some pretty silly things myself as a parent. For this time, I want you to share some humorous stories that you have seen other parents do. Don't worry we'll have time to share our own humorous stories later and believe me I have lots of them. Over Easter break, my twenty year old son was reminding me of my own silly parenting moments. Perhaps I'll be brave enough to share them later.

ASSIGNMENT: What is some of the silliest things you've either done or saw other parents do in terms interacting with their children or giving them ultimatums everyone knows they won't follow through on?

So What is a Next Generation Parent?

When you think of being a parent, do you simply rely on a biological definition that involves either the expected or unexpected consequences of dabbling in the birds and the bees? Or do you take a financial approach in calculating the latest cost of pampers per jar of strained squash, or knowing by heart the latest estimates of the dollars it takes to get that child out of diapers and through college? Or do we gravitate towards a sociological definition - taking in current cultural trends of households and fluid definition of what it means to be family?

A Next Generation Parent is one who approaches parenthood from a different perspective. They don't take all their cues from the latest sitcom to air or the newest so-called expert to join Oprah or Dr. Phil. This is a person who believes that since God designed this whole reproductive process, this same God has a plan for fatherhood and motherhood. They turn to the Scriptures, and from there, catch a broader and compelling understanding of what it means to be a mom or dad. One of the places they land is Psalm 78:4 which says:

"We will not hide them from their children; we will tell the next generation the praise worthy deeds of the Lord, His power, and the wonders He has done."

Honestly, this call to tell the next generation doesn't limit itself to fathers or mothers, but includes every follower of Jesus Christ, and yet the primary focus in God's Word always begins in the home.

So this blog is dedicated to those moms and dads who get this and are committed to being that kind of next generation parent. We'll be asking you to respond to various blogs and questions with what you've seen or experienced. The goal is that we would encourage one another and help equip one another to be even stronger next generation parents and disciples of Christ.