The Blessing

Did you hear what what the Pastor just said..."Find a partner and do what?" Wait a minute what else is he saying..."We are going to give each other a blessing." I'm not sure what that means. I don't think anybody else did either because as I looked around everybody was still just sitting there. Nobody was getting up and moving. Maybe he'll just forget all about it.

Oh no! He's saying it again, "If you are with your family, get together with your family." But what about me? But I'm all by myself. What do I do? I could feel myself getting really nervous. He's speaking again, "If you are by yourself, find a partner." What does that mean? I don't really know anyone very well so if I don't move then I won't have to do anything since the rest of my family and friends aren't here. You know if I just stare straight ahead and don't make eye contact - everything will be okay because hopefully nobody will notice me. But that's exactly when she spotted me and sat down beside me and asked, "do you mind if we do the blessing together"? What could I say, except for I guess that would be great. I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

She took my hands, looked into my eyes and repeated these words after the Pastor, "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven" - Matthew 5:14,16. What a great feeling I had as she said those words. I couldn't help, but smile to myself.

I'm sure many people in our church had mixed emotions last weekend as they were asked to find someone and share the blessing with someone they might not know very well. We were asked to step out of our comfort zones. But as people shared their stories with me...I heard that children were beaming because their parents were sharing God's blessing with them in a way that had never happened before, I heard that their were tears of joy from strangers that had never experienced this before in that way. The family of God was sharing God's love with one another, and doing in a way that nobody would be excluded. What a powerful moment!

But we want to extend this not only to the church family, but to our families at home where we can share God's abundant grace and love everyday. If you haven't had a chance to read "The Family Blessing" by Rolf Garborg - I would encourage you to do so. It's a beautiful book discussing the journey of doing a blessing for your family. He tells this story about a friend of his:

This friend started doing a blessing for his children and he at first started out with a simple blessing: "God bless you with grace and peace in Jesus' name. Amen." But then he wanted to add more so he said, "God bless you with grace and peace, power and protection, health and healing, holiness and godliness, abundance and prosperity, and all the fruit and gifts of the Holy Spirit, in Jesus' name. Amen". That's quite a list of blessings to remember.

One evening, this man was exhausted from a particularly demanding day, and as he blessed his children, he accidentally forgot a portion of the blessing. Immediately his young daughter interrupted. "Dad," she insisted, "don't forget the power and protection. That's important." Even a six year old was paying close attention, knowing every word was important.

My prayer for all of you is to continue to do a family blessing in your homes - this can be for your children, spouse or friends. If you need help getting started, just let me know - the hard part is actually getting started...Rolf writes, "Getting started with the blessing of your children is a little like replacing a light bulb. It really isn't much work when you actually do it; it doesn't take much time, and the results are better than you thought".

Share your experiences with giving a blessing in your family.

Late Night Advice

Knock, Knock! Was that really someone knocking at our bedroom door or was I just dreaming? There went the knocking again - I looked at the clock. It was after midnight - who would be knocking at our door now? Then I heard his voice - it was Jordan (our oldest) and he was calling my name - "Mom, I need to talk to you." I wondered ...is he OK? is he sick? Oh how I hate getting out of bed at this time. I finally got out of bed and I could tell Jeff was stirring... "What's going on, he asked. "Go back to sleep, I'll see - it's Jordan".

I finally crawled out of bed and stumbled over to the door to see why Jordan was standing there. "Jordan, are you sick?" I thought he must be because that was the only reason I knew that he would wake me up so late at night. "No", he said, "I'm feeling fine". "Then what's going on?" - I could slowly feel the irritation in my voice because I was wondering how long it would take me to fall back asleep. "I just need your opinion and advice". Wow, this is my seventeen year old asking me for advice. Now he had my attention because that doesn't happen very often.

"Well, he began, there's this girl who I know really likes me and she's from our church and I just don't feel the same way about her". How can I tell her this without hurting her feelings because I want to remain her friend?" Well...we sat down and talked about this for awhile and we came up with a solution . He felt relieved and actually told me thanks.

I went back into the bedroom and crawled back into bed. Jeff wanted to know what Jordan wanted and I said, "What else, girls! But for some reason Jordan wanted my advice. I couldn't help but smile as I fell back to sleep. I didn't really care that I wasn't going to get my eight hours of uninterrupted sleep that night. My son trusted me enough to ask for my advice!

I can't believe we are at the last letter of HEART - the "T" for talk to and listen to. Jeff and I have spent many years working on our relationship with our sons so that there is an environment where we can talk with and listen to our boys. There have been times of frustration and heartaches because at certain ages in the lives of teenagers - they think we as parents have no clue about the real world. Then there are those times when you have great conversations. There are those moments when you realize as you listen to them, that they share so many values and faith ideas with you. Or there are special times when your children actually want your input and value your opinions. It is really worth the investment of spending time and cultivating those relationships in your family.

How are you purposefully keeping the lines of communication open? When was the last time you responded to the opportunity to have a deeper conversation with your son or daughter? How do work on your skills to listen first, and then respond, rather than simply cutting your child off before you really understand them?

"Its MY Birthday, Right?"

"It's MY birthday, right?" I can still hear those words in my mind when Josiah turned four. We were living in Nashville at this time - this was the closest we had been to family in a long time. Jeff's dad and his wife lived about forty minutes away from us so they were coming to celebrate Josiah's birthday and he was excited! For a four year old, birthdays meant presents, cake, fun and lots of attention, especially with grandma and grandpa coming.

We had just finished eating dinner together and now it was finally the time Josiah had been waiting for with great anticipation - opening up all his presents. He was in the middle of the living room surrounded by his gifts. Jordan who was six was sittting close beside him so he could be part of the action too.

Josiah opened up his first present from grandpa and grandma, but then something happened that totally threw Josiah off his game. Grandma and grandpa had a present for Jordan too. Josiah didn't know how to handle this so he stood up and said in his cute little somewhat southern (remember he was born in Arkansas) four year old voice: "It's MY birthday, right?"

Everybody burst out laughing because how do you explain to a four year old why his six year old brother was getting a present too when it wasn't his birthday at all. Grandma and Grandpa patiently explained to him that they wanted to get Jordan a little something so that Jordan wouldn't feel totally left out. That explanation seemed to satisfy him and he ended up having a great birthday.

Over the years when Josiah celebrates his birthday - we all think of that story. In fact when he turned twenty I sent him a message saying..."It's MY birthday, right?" I laughed as I sent that message. And Josiah texted his own sign of laughter in return.

That's what the letter "R" in HEART is all about. It is for remembering the good times in your family. Your family has been building up its own collection of "good times" to remember. It can be a vacation you've gone on; special achievemnets or milstones you've celebrated, or holidays you've shared together. When we recall them, it's a time of reconnecting and sharing. The boys often ask us to retell stories that we've already retold numerous times. It's fun to laugh and remember the times we've had growing as a family.

This week reflect on some of the "good times" you've had with your family.

Roller Coasters

Without a doubt the hardest thing about moving from Omaha to Cleveland was the fact that our two sons opted to remain in Nebraska. We like to joke about the fact that while most kids grow up and move away to college, we did the opposite. But Jordan and Josiah like to come to Cleveland to visit - partly because we plan lots of things for us to do together. Their favorite thing by far is to go to Cedar Point (which is a huge amusement park for you non-Ohio readers). So on their first visit here, guess what was on the top of their list of things to do? Now Jeff is never too thrilled about going to amusement parks - roller coasters make him sick. Personally, I enjoy roller coasters and the boys and I spend a lot of time talking while we are standing in line.

As the Wednesday for our Cedar Point trip drew closer, Jeff announced to the boys: "I think that I'm going to skip the trip to Cedar Point this time. I'll just stay here and you all go and have fun." He thought the boys would be fine with that after all they were still getting what they wanted - roller coaster heaven on the banks of Lake Erie. Out of the blue, our oldest son Jordan who was 21 at the time blurted out, "I thought the reason why we came to visit you guys in Cleveland was so that we could all spend time together"! What could you say to that? That one comment changed our perspective and Jeff had a change of heart and we all headed to Sandusky!

The next letter in our HEART acrostic is "A" which stands for "arranging activities". A family needs to work together and play together. So many times in our families, each member of the family goes their separate ways instead of hanging out together. Of course you need to find balance. In order to put this into practice it takes intentional planning. It is okay to give your children a chance to plan the family activities as well. It could be anything from planning a trip to Cedar Point, cleaning out the garage together or raking leaves for an elderly neighbor - be creative! I think you might find that your family will have lots of fun with the service events as well. Unless we become more intentional about arranging activities together, family life becomes its own runaway roller coaster.

Let me know about some of your arranged activities?

New Logo Created for Next Generation Parenting

Thanks to the graphic skills of Tracy Wilkens, we have a new logo for the Next Generation Parenting blog and other parenting ministries here at Royal Redeemer. We believe it captures what the blog and our family ministry to and through parents is all about. Psalm 78:4 talks about telling the next generation all God has done. So as we talked about a design for Next Generation Parenting, we wanted to make it clear it is about sharing the message of Christ with the children of the next generation and they in turn, carrying the message of the cross to the one that will follow.