Knock, Knock! Was that really someone knocking at our bedroom door or was I just dreaming? There went the knocking again - I looked at the clock. It was after midnight - who would be knocking at our door now? Then I heard his voice - it was Jordan (our oldest) and he was calling my name - "Mom, I need to talk to you." I wondered ...is he OK? is he sick? Oh how I hate getting out of bed at this time. I finally got out of bed and I could tell Jeff was stirring... "What's going on, he asked. "Go back to sleep, I'll see - it's Jordan".
I finally crawled out of bed and stumbled over to the door to see why Jordan was standing there. "Jordan, are you sick?" I thought he must be because that was the only reason I knew that he would wake me up so late at night. "No", he said, "I'm feeling fine". "Then what's going on?" - I could slowly feel the irritation in my voice because I was wondering how long it would take me to fall back asleep. "I just need your opinion and advice". Wow, this is my seventeen year old asking me for advice. Now he had my attention because that doesn't happen very often.
"Well, he began, there's this girl who I know really likes me and she's from our church and I just don't feel the same way about her". How can I tell her this without hurting her feelings because I want to remain her friend?" Well...we sat down and talked about this for awhile and we came up with a solution . He felt relieved and actually told me thanks.
I went back into the bedroom and crawled back into bed. Jeff wanted to know what Jordan wanted and I said, "What else, girls! But for some reason Jordan wanted my advice. I couldn't help but smile as I fell back to sleep. I didn't really care that I wasn't going to get my eight hours of uninterrupted sleep that night. My son trusted me enough to ask for my advice!
I can't believe we are at the last letter of HEART - the "T" for talk to and listen to. Jeff and I have spent many years working on our relationship with our sons so that there is an environment where we can talk with and listen to our boys. There have been times of frustration and heartaches because at certain ages in the lives of teenagers - they think we as parents have no clue about the real world. Then there are those times when you have great conversations. There are those moments when you realize as you listen to them, that they share so many values and faith ideas with you. Or there are special times when your children actually want your input and value your opinions. It is really worth the investment of spending time and cultivating those relationships in your family.
How are you purposefully keeping the lines of communication open? When was the last time you responded to the opportunity to have a deeper conversation with your son or daughter? How do work on your skills to listen first, and then respond, rather than simply cutting your child off before you really understand them?
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